task 7: My Current Crush
I stare blankly at the screen thinking of what to write. Looking for words that could describe what I’m feeling at this very moment of time. A poem? An essay? A song? Or just a simple statement?
A surge of emotions circulates my mind. Anxiety and hope are the dominant ones. One sided or mutual?
I learned my lessons and I don’t want to go back to the time of great desperation and left with a big “WHAT IF?” on my loser head.
It was not after four years when I realized a certain kind of emotion, familiar yet rare which dated a few years ago. Now I think of the wasted moments we’ve shared for the past years.
As a normal being, it is normal to have crushes but I admit, this time is complicated enough to question one’s infatuation. There would be a very long list for the problems. But as the saying goes “KUNG AYAW MAY DAHILAN, KUNG GUSTO PALAGING MERONG PARAAN” (If there’s a will, there’s a way).
I already accepted the possibility of it being a one-sided feeling but there is still that inch of hope of feeling it mutually. I also accepted the fact that this foreign yet familiar admiration is only limited to “glimpse, glances, smiles and hellos” … ONLY limited.
He was talented, smart, witty, uhmm well he really suits the term..”tall, dark and handsome”. It was all “butterfly-fluttering, rainbow-swirling, mind-boggling and stomach-twisting” shock to my system. It was sudden. From out of nowhere, from the unknown corners of the unknown, I just turned “googly-eyes” for him. I don’t know why, I don’t know when, I don’t know how. Well it’s officially UNCONDITIONAL but JUST crush.
Every time I see him in school, a glimpse is the only thing I can offer. I need not to show for it will be the END of me. It’s exaggerated but trust me, one second and all the people would tease you, some would even talk behind your back. It’s better this way, no arguments just love [CHOS! xD].
It’s complicated but that’s life and the best thing a person can feel is to love and be loved 🙂