Being Iska Part 1: Freshie days

So before the school starts, before the hustle and bustle of another semester, before all the upcoming panic attacks and desperation, let’s walk down the memory lane, shall we?

                There was this girl, 4’10’’ tall, little miss goody-two-shoes, shy, ready to take over her new life but unconsciously naive with what she really was in. The first 3-4 weeks were exciting, liberating and of course, exhausting. When i recall those times, one word would just pop in my mind; longing. She would count hours, days and weeks just to get by and those late night phone calls from home keeps her alive.

She conditioned herself to be a studious student and spent 5-6 hours solving a 3-page factoring problems. Life was easy; it was bearable but uncanny for her for she was never like this in the first place; but the weirdest of them all? She liked it.

Days and weeks went, people became acquaintances and acquaintances became friends. She then realized an overwhelming feeling that friendship can be eternal and she’s on the receiving end at the moment. Whatever may happen in the future, this people who might fail or succeed will be part of her life and vice versa. The thought was exhilarating and awesome.

But of all the meet-ups and introductions, a guy caught her attention. Given her new life, a prototype identity and innocence, who would say no to this kind of opportunity? They became friends, and with some applied force and pressure, they became a couple. He was her first and the feeling was foreign; first love and first heartbreak, dignity intact.

 The days come and go. There are mornings that are as bright as the smiling sun that gives inspiration out from nowhere while there are times that as I open my eyes, a heavy feeling right deep inside my heart makes me scared to face the day, thinking as to what may happen or everything could probably go wrong. I would just pray at night that the latter wouldn’t visit me on the day after and the cycle goes on.

The grades were good on the first semester but it tilted a little on the second, maybe because of the guilt that was eating me on my first relationship and also maybe my subjects were really that hard. On the second phase, I spent most hours to myself with no idea what to do except study. I realized I should never be left alone for my mind is active and confusing as ever. Talking to myself was a daily routine and to keep my mind of things was an effortful attempt to forget the negative things in my life. Maybe at that time, I got a glimpse of an early life crisis and maybe also an identity crisis. I was getting tired of the setup but the thought of failing grades were much more horrifying than anything else so I kept moving forward.

The girl that was once shy and intimidated became me. She became confident and knows what she wants. I might not state all the details that led me through what i am right now; not just because of the booze, the heartbreak, the failures, the doubts and the pressure, there were a lot of factors affected me through this one-year process. But one thing’s for sure, this is a better me. I may be capable of a more daring and dangerous things, I’m also capable of doing good and exciting things. I was born a control-freak and it does get on the way but so far, it did me good regardless of the disappointments and frustration every now and then but all in all, I will look back on that year with a smile.

Being an ISKA was really a new experience. Not just because life was there, opportunities was there, social life was on its happy hour but the learning can’t be compared to any other. Being iska doesn’t just involve your mental ability but also your holistic being. It teaches you life with its beauty and at the same time, its pain. 

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Infection To The System

Infection to the System

A Reaction Paper on “Ang Paglilitis ni Andres Bonifacio”

by: Kristine Iannah Lawas

 

Disclaimer: Just wanna share it and post it on my blog to express my comments about historical events and its relation to our present and the incoming future

 

We recently watched a movie entitled “Ang Paglilitis ni Andres Bonifacio” and was presented in two ways: a play and a drama. At first, the movie was vague and incomprehensible because of the ambiguous transitions: from play to a film, from ancient sword fight to the Katipunan and from Ibong Adarna to Andres Bonifacio.

It was simply a chronological narration of what happened to Andres Bonifacio and his constituents at that time.  Also, in the movie, Andres was described through Ibong Adarna’s Don Juan. It was, for me, a peculiar comparison since it was reality versus fiction and literature which he did not wrote. But later, I found out that the two characters were similar in many ways.

One of the things I noticed in the film was the commotion or rivalry within the Katipunan amidst their war with the Spanish government. I felt pity for the country at that time because even us Filipinos, even on a small group, we tend to compete with position or leadership disregarding the real problem. Even today, we can see the same infectious disease on our system. Based on the historical facts, I can say that we could have done better than what our heroes did if they just set aside personal intentions and unite for one goal and one goal only, independence.

Andres Bonifacio, the Supremo and founder of the Katipunan, also made mistakes that led to his execution. It was evident how much he trusted his power or position to spare him his life. But in the end, instead of killing Spanish blood, the bullets and blades of the native Filipinos took the lives of their own kind. Even betrayal was a fashion at that time and ruined most of the people’s lives in the Spanish era in exchange for money, support or fame. We were a failure at that time but history was made for us to learn from it.

In less than a month…

Soon, this will all be over.

I remember the first time I saw that place. Trees, dirt, sand and people all over. It was really very vague. It was 6 years ago when we went to a sci fair hosted by the Science Centrum. I was amazed not by the school but the exhibits, well that’s what’s expected for a 5th grader. I never thought that place would really change me.

Sky blue and white were foreign to me as well as tuck-in blouses. I remember my first day where I felt really weird to dress such a thing. I search for my classroom and found a seat beside my friends. It was a rival of schools where you came from. Competition was also in the air.

Days, weeks and months passed, I got used to it. Classes were vague in my memory but not the fun. All I can even think of my first year was all the fun things we’ve done. I thought it was one of the best years of my life but I was wrong- really wrong.

The second year was one of the toughest, hardest, most brutal year but i must admit, it was THE BEST YEAR OF MY EXISTENCE. It was when we’re not already the youngest of them all and the most vulnerable. It was where all the training a smart and an ambitious person should have and could have. It was when friendship creates its roots and grow much deeper. It was when love blooms the prettiest. It was when success makes a mark at the peak with your name soaring with it.

I still long for that time where everything was complicated yet you know you’ll be ok. Everything was out of control yet you can still live with it. Everything was so beautiful yet you found yourself hungry for more. It was an amazing experience and a very challenging one. I can’t even think how I survived such a beautiful hell hole.

But everything must come to an end and all I can bring with me are just memories left behind. But without regrets, I’ll keep looking back to that moment of my young life where everything was a perfect chaos.

The next two years were where fun, knowledge and life created a perfect harmony. Control was within my reach and worry was just a seldom visitor. It was where we learned to cherish the remaining time we got before we separate ways. Time favored our life and we survived the challenges prepared to us by fate. We fail, we stand-up, we celebrate. Even though we are not normal high school kids, even though our experiences were far from most people have, even though we specialize knowledge more than practicalities, we still find ourselves having the time of our lives. It was not easy but we still found our way to the end of the tunnel and this time there will be goodbyes.

Knowledge molded our minds but friendship molded our souls. In less than a month, we will march that aisle and accept our fruit of labor. In less than a month, we will shift our paths to a greater and tougher one. In less than a month, tears will fall and hugs will be shared. In less than a month, these will all be memories tucked in the back of my mind but will never ever be forgotten ’til I rest my life.

Long live guys and thank you for everything ! 🙂
UBatch 2009-2013 ♥♥♥

orchid  all  sajs  rizal

TWELVE drummers drumming

task 12: Life as a student

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Millions of questions circulate one’s mind. Fear of the future’s uncertain reply.

It was like months ago since I first entered the premises of our school. Innocent and curious of what the future holds. Day by day I learn new knowledge, get more experiences and gain more friends. For four years of studying here, multifarious problems suppressed my mind but on the other hand innumerable victory flourished my soul. High school is the best part of my existence.

But everything must come to an end. One must choose between the choices. One must decide on which way to pursue. One must take the risk of ensuring his future.

As fourth year students, we are haunted by what ifs, maybes and what next. Curiosity and anxiety goes along together, curiosity of what could happen and anxiety to what it will be, to where will it end and to what we would become. On my part, I am afraid to take a big step, a big leap of faith, to take an enormous risk because it’s either to emerge as great and noble or to swim in regrets and disappointments.

At this time of my life, many opportunities make their way before me. It’s my decision to choose, not the greatest option but what’s best for myself. We have many things to reconsider after we graduate: a place to stay, a good school to invest our time and effort, the new friends we could rely on and the goals we want to achieve.

As early as now, we need to sort out all of these not just for your own but for the society and humanity’s futures are at stake.

FORMER: UNCERTAINTY

Nostalgia

 

    

It was not before August when we realized that the day of goodbyes is on his way and sooner or later we’ll meet him face to face. At this point pf our educational career, part of us wants to finish soon because of the greater hassle (maybe the greatest so far) compared to the last three years but also part of us wants to slow down time and cherish each minute of spending high school life in our beloved institution.

This school year is one of years with the earliest graduation, March 18 is the day and surely  it’s not that far- actually were halfway through our agony but at the same time, halfway through of our greatest time of our certain lives and I’m pretty sure to MISS IT  🙂